#to try and make myself feel better
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let time pass.
#and the tears come streaming down your face#when you lose something you can't replace#when you love someone but it goes to waste#could it be worse?#Light will guide you home and ignite your bones#and I will try to fix you#thank you tom hiddleston for making fix you the lokius anthem#I'm still in mourning over the loki finale and I had to make something to make myself feel a little better#I hope this can help you a little too#or make it worse#haha#wanted to try something new#loki#lokius#lokius fanart#loki fanart#loki and mobius#loki season 2#loki season 2 fanart#loki mobius#loki laufeyson#loki god of stories#mobius m. mobius#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#my art#fanart#digital art#lokius comic#loki comic
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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I like to imagine Ghost with lashes and brows that are so blonde they’re near translucent. His hair has darkened into that dirty, “dishwater” blonde that’s inevitable with age but his brows and lashes remain practically platinum. The hair he doesn’t care about much, he keeps it shorn most of the time anyway.
He doesn’t like the other stuff, though - thinks it makes him look weird, especially with his dark eyes contrasting against them. It adds to the Ghost persona, though, he supposes. A big, pale specter with eyes like voids looking out from behind a skull.
I also like to imagine that Soap is obsessed with them - with catching them in the right light, with the way those big, brown eyes look up at him through them. He’ll trace his thumbs over Ghost’s brows almost reverently and kiss his eyelids as if worshiping a saint.
#definitely not me projecting and trying to make myself feel better about my borderline invisible lashes and brows#simon ghost riley#ghoap#john soap mactavish#ghostsoap#cod#ghost x soap
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(wip) trying to get back into the swing of things
#wip#terracottaart#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#might delete later#rambling session: i've been truly so busy lately that i haven't had the chance to make art for myself#which has made everything i draw incredibly stiff and uninspired-- so im now trying to stretch some of those old muscles again orz#i really hope to make some wild life art soon!!! but i have kinda have to remember how to draw again lol#another block i have with art is also the pressure i feel to make a “masterpiece” every time i draw/post#so im trying to get better with that too u_u#kore's yapping
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"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever
(I make a webcomic about them)
#GODDDDDDDDDDD I love them#theyre so.....#I just.#good. theyre good#I need the comic to come back NOW...#no I dont. I havent finished enough yet#I've finished 7 episodes so I gotta make 3 more minimum but 8 more ideally. which is. a big gap..#anyways I got up early to draw this cause I couldnt sleep#and someone shared it in a server I'm in and I was like. oh I have to#but now I'm super tired and I can sleep#so good night. enjoy my beautuful art of my beautiful vampires#'good ngiht' it is 10 30 am.#sleep. she betrays me yet again.#anyways working on coming back working on kickstarter stuff working on book 4#working on commissions working on my patreon...#work work work work#trying to be forgiving of myself LOL working like 50-70 hours a week and still feeling like its not enough#imagine if I WASNT on meds rn. I'm focusing better and there's still just way too much sheesh#super need some support but also I'm chillin#I was assigned an editor and she has not given me a single note#so I'm like uhhh. rlly feeling aimless and lonely#I'm doing very good work its some of my best stuff#but...#yeah. idk. just a lot HAHAHA#but I got like 45 mins to do a quick drawing#for my mental health...#time and time again#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#adam
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#trying to make myself feel better by drawing my fave characters#the colors in this are a bit fucked up for some reason but i love this lil guy#i recently made one of my friends watch all the bnha movies it was fun#they know nothing about bnha except bakudeku#i feel like there's an emptiness inside of me now#like i have no emotions anymore#because he's gone#just hoping i can get his ashes back quickly so he can be with me once again#sorry for talking about poju he was my best friend#just miss him so much#midoriya izuku#deku#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#fanart
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i dont think darlin sounds aggressive like. intentionally. whenever they come off as threatening its usually an accident/people misread them as being violent/angry when they actually arent at all
however their tone is REALLY flat/deadpan constantly (autism), think people like aubrey plaza or steven wright.
when you dont know them and they say things, they do kinda put you on the defensive but once you get close to them/get to know them theyre actually extremely fucking funny. the pack's adapted to it in a way.
#shut up i am not projecting again#no this is not me trying to make myself feel better about everyone thinking darlin is just#unnecessarily violent#shhhhh#anyways#redacted fandom#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redactedasmr#redacted headcanons#shaw pack#redacted darlin#redacted shaw pack#indi’s yap sessions
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Art vs The Artist (2024)
#been wanting to do one of these for a long time#very late to the party lol#pinky and the brain#my art#dark pinky#art#drawing#art vs artist#ocs#helluva boss#mlp#pinkamena#tadc#jax tadc#artists on tumblr#me irl#trying to do something to make myself feel better while being around these ppl#starting to hate Christmas tbh
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Hmmm thinking about writing and how hard it is
I feel like for how long it takes me to write one chapter I can use that same energy to make like 10 art pieces
I’m wondering if it’s even worth it
Like I enjoy writing but it just takes so much of my time
Should I just stop and only do art?
#it’s a rhetorical question btw#just thinking to myself rn#thoughts#I guess that’s why I like comics it’s a good mix of the two#but yeah idk I’ve been trying to get this chapter done for a long while now#and I know only a few people care about it and most people would prefer I just focus on art#idk its just been killing my motivation#I guess it’s better to think that most people don’t like it cause it’s a niche idea with weird ships and an oc#rather than the truth which is that it’s not that good#I make art to convince people of an idea or concept#and idk I just feel like sometimes I just fail with writing
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So, I wasn't going to say anything about this because responding to anon hate doesn't accomplish anything, but this one I got this morning stuck out to me, and it's just because of one line.
"...someone you hurt is gonna expose you for every single evil thing you've done."
It's just such an interesting thing to say to someone you don't know and never will know.
I mean, I'm a normal person. Raised by parents who loved me and tried their best. Participated in middle school plays. Had high school drama. Tried an instrument for a year. Juggled college and a job. Lost some people. Y'know, ordinary life experiences for someone my age.
I haven't done anything "evil," believe it or not. I'm a good boy who obeys laws and I don't enjoy hurting people.
If you talked to old friends who ended it on bad terms with me, I'm sure they'd have a whole list of my bad qualities. Off-color jokes that I made, selfish decisions, accidents that snowballed.
But that's just... Normal? I'm sure this anon has done bad things, too. That's just life.
When I was five, I punched my little brother so hard that he got a bloody nose. Is that "evil"?
When I was nine, I stole some loose change from a friend of mine. Is that "evil"?
When I was fifteen, my friend told me that she was planning to commit suicide in December, and I was scared so I told her parents even though she expressly did not want them to know. Is that "evil"?
Fandom antis are so fascinating. The use of the word "evil" says all that I need to know about how this person thinks; enough that anything else they think is automatically worthless to me.
People can't be split into good and evil and, even if they could be, you can't tell that about someone just because of what art they create.
Would it make you feel better if I was "evil," anon? Would you feel vindicated if I hurt people, if I caused suffering in the world, if people had their lives ruined by me, all because I write about the "wrong" fictional characters kissing? That's pathetic, and sad.
I hope you find happiness in your life, anon. Seems like you need it.
#anon hate#proship#this ''evil'' nonsense. ugh. antis and christofascists come from the same school of thought#i have actually gotten quite a few anon hate messages recently all from the same person (or group of people)#and it's gone from amusing to just. sad.#like i wake up in the morning and have things to do and friends to talk to and hobbies I want to indulge in#and these strangers have nothing better to do than try and make me feel a little bit worse about myself#it's so pathetic i almost feel bad for them
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Woke up and was over come with the need to make a fun piece to make myself feel better :] I know it's not popular, but I've always head cannoned Elliott as some where on the ace spectrum, maybe that's because I am ace myself, but it's just a little comfort idea I enjoy indulging in. (bonus trans for just Wolfe)
Bonus with ace flag, I was debating it but I don't know if it's messing with the flow.
#drawing art to try and make myself feel better about myself uwu#I like to think of him as int he demisexual range. he's a romantic and I think it fits#also he had no really sexually implied lines until the update so I was running with it for awhile#art#stardew valley#stardew#stardew valley elliott#stardew elliott#stardew valley farmer#stardew farmer#stardew valley fanart#stardew fanart#fan art#also I need to figure out whats wrong because my tablet is still hurting my hand in a way I've never had when drawing
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i want to dunk them in water then put them in a blender and make them into a smoothie
(the quality got nuked sorry)
#art#fanart#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#coalecroux#i know buddy episode 46 crushed my soul too#here have some fluff to ease the pain#(i’m trying to make myself feel better)#i wonder what this whimsday is going to contain👀#*rings bell*#WAITER#WAITER MORE COALECROUX ART PLEASE#coming right up#mmmmm we’re in rambling territory#i’m going to stop adding tags now
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witch hat atelier
#witch hat tag#orufrey#havent felt like being online. feeling a huge distance between myself and everything online#i dont want to catch up with what i missed. i dont want to scroll sites. i dont care. something's snapped#but drawing again makes me feel calmer. took some effort to claw myself back#trying new things in the first one lol.. i want to get better at this#my kitchen volume 4 was meant to arrive yesterday and they changed it suddenly to 'delay..will arrive october-february 2025' -_-
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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two abandoned paintings ..
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#tloz#loz#demise#hylia#i feel like i dont know how to art anymore#i subconsiously keep pushing more and more rules on myself to try and get better#and it just makes it all not fun and frustrating#desperately struggeling to break free and just have fun again without thinking about it constantly
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